2025

So… It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here. My last post was literally a 2024 version of this. But still, felt like doing something so I guess we’ll make another one of these posts in hope to kick start things up again.

Since my last post, there has been some changes, but not really. The plan was to focus more on programs and building things, but it’s been a struggle to get anything started. Even video games are feeling a bit of a drag now. Hard to get into anything anymore. So it’s basically, work, sleep, random mindless videos or things in between. Socially, things have been on the decline and will probably be close to or be nothing soon. Only really talk to one person, but I feel like I distance myself from them or stop talking since I’m just getting in the way. Pretty sure the person they are seeing would prefer if I wasn’t around. Maybe I’m just a backup plan. Living alone, being alone does have it’s perks like near complete freedom to do anything. Even if that freedom is basically to do nothing it seems. I’ve given up completely on dating. Dating apps make me feel like every other social thing in life. Just an outsider. I was never anyone favorite person. I doubt any of my ex’s remember me. Reasoning behind that statement is that you just wish you’d at least of been an important person to them or had an impact on them. But instead, just another replaceable person till they get the person they really wanted. Or the life they wanted. Okay… This post already coming across as super depressing.

After the last US presidential election, I ended up just withdrawing from almost all social media and news. The results were disappointing, but not really surprising. However, the toxicity around it and feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming. Initially, just after the results, it was like everyone was quiet and moved on. From there, I stopped going to Reddit. Stopped using TikTok, Instagram, and just most the internet. Ended up mostly staying with YouTube for music. After a month, I felt significantly better mentally and didn’t feel like the world was always on the edge of doom. But… that only lasted till January, today, where I decided to check something and saw chaos everywhere. Big wildfires, president-elect still bitching about personal matters and spouting completely random non-sense. Former President Carter passed. Something happening in South Korea. Just a bunch of negative randomness. So… back to avoiding it all. It’s like if there is any positively left in the world, it’s always drowned out by angry, dooming, depressing news and bullshit. For manipulation, or just entertainment.

This kind of leads into something I’ll probably post about some other times. About how everything feels fake and artificial now. Like it’s all for monetization in some way, but there is so many layers of weirdness you don’t know what’s real and what’s fake and why any of this even exists. A.I. is or is going to play a big part in it because it’s going to be generating all the content and probably all the fake people at levels never seen. Read somewhere Meta wants to create AI profiles and posts. That’s probably why they made Threads. Test bed for their AI. The way I see it, the future isn’t going to be like Terminator’s Skynet. It’s going to be like the robots in Wall-E. Taking over all our duties while just endlessly generating content for us to consume forever. No war or struggle. We just hand life over to them. Why can’t we focus on using A.I. for medical purposes? At least then, there wouldn’t be the sex or gender bias and maybe we’ll greatly accelerate the technology and it’s accuracy… and costs will probably remain the same. Did I mention yet I had to go to the emergency room and have surgery due to something stuck in my throat? Yeah. That was $30,000. Fun times…

So… What’s some positives that happened or what to look forward to?

I made more changes in my home lab. Moved Home Assistant to a virtual machine on one of the Proxmox servers vs the Raspberry Pi it was on. The install was a bit more complicated than I was used to. Had to setup via command line by downloading the image, decompressing it, then applying it a new virtual disk. From there, created an EFI disk and unchecked the pre-enroll key option. Not sure what that does, but ultimately, it booted. I made a backup on the raspberry pi and then turned it off. Moved the Zigbee controller to the Proxmox server. Setup USB port pass-through to the new virtual machine and started it up. Restored backup and everything was exactly as it was on the Raspberry pi. No need to re-adopt any devices. So… a little more complicated, but relatively painless migration.

Other major change I did was replace storage on main data storage server running TrueNAS from 8x 10TB drives to 8x 14TB drives. Got an okay deal on eBay for 8x used WD Ultrastar DC HC530 for around $100 each. All but one ended up being okay. Mostly re-certified drives. So, I setup a new server, named backup, on near identical hardware to original server, with TrueNAS, built the new Vault pool. I then replicated the data from old vault to new vault. This took like 3-4 days on 1Gbit connection. Way to slow. So, at this point, I got 2x SFP+ NIC cards and 10Gbit DAC to connect them together. Put in data and backup server and setup a link-local connection. I then swapped the now replicated arrays between the new/old machines and once I felt the new drives were stable, I destroyed the original array, which made me nervous as fuck, and created again in a new layout. The Vault pool was/is 2x vdevs, with 4 drives in each vdev. With the new drives, this gave me about 50TB of usable space. So the older drives, being smaller capacity, I put all drives into a single vdev. Raid-Z2 for everything. This gave me around 50TB too. Replication across the dedicated 10Gbit link went significantly faster. Array performance was a hair over 4Gbit/s. So… 4 times faster replication than before. So now I have snapshots setup properly and a full array backup that is offline save for 1-2 days a month to bring the backup server up to speed with the months changes on main. Total project cost was just shy of $1,000.

So… What do I do now? Find a girlfriend and have kids? Reach back out to family? Nah, I’ll probably delete all social, ghost anyone I am still talking to so I don’t get in the way of their relationships, and just sit around and play games all day till I’m old, grey, and lost my mind completely. I do wish I could get this higher paying job in virtualization in my company. Citrix engineering and stuff… probably. But I doubt it. I could always fix the stupid layouts on this website so it doesn’t look like ass on mobile, but oh well… pain in the ass to research and fix.

I think I’m just stuck in life.


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